The Storybook Of Us
by Mystical Machine Gun
Summary: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.
1. Chapter 1

Hello there, I have finally something to offer to you! What inspired me were the reality and the fact that there are many types of happy endings. You fight, you laugh, you lose and you gain happiness. I wanted to focus on the feelings, how everything goes wrong before it can go right and then the "right" is not necessarily a princess and half the kingdom. This story is a road and I want you to travel it with Sasuke and Naruto.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Sasuke x Naruto / Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or what so ever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

_**The Storybook Of Us**_

Tune in, tune out. The neck of the instrument is sticky, but passionately clinging to me as I am to it. Sweaty fingers slide on the strings, pressing enough to get marks to my fingertips. No cuts, but deep dips and dints. My left hand wanders off to the vibration crank handle without any effort, gently but fast enough for the eye to miss it. Right foot on pedal and more distortion to the sound.

Heavy notes hang in the air like the first signs of an upcoming storm. The next pedal, Boss Metal Zone MT-2, and my hair sticks to my face. I have to get this sweat from my eyes, it is stinging already. I switch to delay, then some chorus just for the heck of it. I even brought my wah-wah pedal just in case. I want this storm to rise.

The music runs through me, runs on my skin like an army of ants. Sweat decorates my body, wanting me to drown in this pool of wet liquid salt. I brush the hair from my face. One, two, three and my solo; the best moments for the lead guitarist. I indulge myself into the music; let it run from finger to finger, dance on my skin, and suck on it. Somehow it feels like I am all alone on the stage, making love to my music while everything else disappears into a pit of darkness.

I do not see the crowd because of the lights and the voices fade away in my ears. I have to concentrate in order to hear my own playing which is a hard task, since the stage is like a black hole sucking everything in. My hair falls over my face again, but it does not matter anymore - I play my music by heart, my fingers moving on their own. My eyelids are closed as if I am in a trance and the air is thick with odours of different kinds. This note smells like a rough play without safety words, strong but seductive.

When I play I live in my own world, lie naked on a bed with my music and smoke a cigarette after a magnificent sex. Music makes me high like no other drug. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is as real as the fact that he never sees this, so, a mere hallucination. The film which runs before my eyes is cut in half with a sharp knife as his face pops out of nowhere again. I hate this. What is so fucked up in this situation is that what I love is the reason why I cannot get rid of his image. Fucking hell, I want to see that army green cap of yours somewhere, I want see you smile stupidly.

After the gig I am drained again; so tired that my limbs weight like heavy metal, haha, what a pun. Yeah, I love heavy metal. I am soaked in sweat so that my white wife beater is dripping it. I throw the top into the corner of the back stage, fetch myself a beer and cigarette and get on the worn leather couch. I close my eyes and I can hear the sounds of the packing of our shit on the stage. Some dudes with low-pitched voice still shout "Karma Insomniac" like two retards and I try to recall how everything felt back when I watched the gigs behind the other side of the safety fence.

The cold beer fills my otherwise empty stomach and the cigarette smoke forms a wall around me. The first notes of Nailin'It hits the air and I can hear Naruto's low voice echo strangely throughout the dimly lighted room. Nailin'It's music is more like hard rock so they are on a different level then us - yet we tour together. A good combination, since they bring along the girls to the gigs as we the hairy ugly dudes. The story of heavy metal. I sigh audibly while time flies without my consent.

Are you waiting for Naruto, Neji asks as he sits next to me. Move it pretty boy, he snarls and pushes me. Not really, I answer although we both know that is precisely what I am doing. You need more meat around your bones; skinny types cannot be true "metalliacs", Neji inhales smoke. This is what I hate about you true blood wankers…I sigh. Just stating the reality, he blows the smoke against my face. Hell no, a fatty Sasuke would definitely be something out of this world and I am not sure the girls could take it - he has no other good aspects, a familiar voice laughs out loud.

And you, Neji asks sarcastically. Naruto grins and says that it does not matter, he seemingly likes all the shapes and sizes. Nympho, Neji grunts, but Naruto just laughs harder. He laughs because it is true, the guy can fuck anything and everything; he has this non-discrimination policy. It is ridiculous, but probably the reason why we are what we are and do what we do. Naruto moves behind my head which I rest on the couch. Should we get going, it is closer to my place and I am dead tired, he says and I nod faintly.

You fucking married couple, Neji sighs. Aww, Naruto says as if he is offended and on purpose takes me by the hand. Let us go you faggot, I murmur to Naruto and we take our leave. Everyone knows we are friends and thus no one wonders why we act as we do. Do you still want to bang Sakura, I ask him while we walk towards his place. Just filling the insane silence that gnaws my feet. Naah, it would not be proper to do our own drummer, bad karma, you know, he answers. You fall in and out of love as fast as a lightning, I tell him. Who says anything about love, he grins. Yeah, who says, I wonder.

It does not take that long to reach his apartment. It is as messy as ever and I wonder how the hell any girl would want to come here. Even the air is stuffy and the bed unmade, as always. Suddenly Naruto pushes me half-playfully and half-seriously against the hallway cupboard. I want to do it, now, fuck, or else I will explode like a damn nuclear bomb, he murmurs almost desperately. Hmph, not even food first but straight to the point, eh, I snarl back. You can eat me, he smiles devilishly and devours my neck. He runs his tongue over my skin, chews the skin and leaves purple marks. I do not see them, but I know they will be there.

Sasuke, you look hot in that outfit, you know, black suits you, he muffles. He pulls my shirt off and with rough movements lets his hands wander on my pale skin. Slowly I begin to respond and with every breath the air gets thicker and loses vital oxygen. I sneak my hands into his hair, pull it and make him look me in the eyes. No kissing on the lips, you know that, too personal, he huffs. Too personal, my mind repeats as I watch him back. Then this is not personal enough? That you touch me in every possible way, but your lips are sealed to someone else? I know, I reply smiling stupidly.

I tear his shirt off while sucking his salty skin; our lips are swollen already. I get on my knees and open the zipper of his pants. It makes a funny sound as the room is otherwise silent. Naruto sinks his fingers in my hair, his ragged breathing sounding quite like the bass beat. His pants drop on the floor along with his boxers. He must have all of his possessions in those pockets, since the pants are utterly heavy. Keys here, a wallet there.

I kiss his thighs; run my tongue over the smooth skin, which is still slightly moist. Little by little I move my way upwards. Naruto groans when my mouth reaches his groins. I am still pissed about the personal comment, I am pissed that it does not matter how we are - be it top or bottom - he is always the one in control. Even when I fuck him, even when I let him fuck me, even when I talk to him, even when I look at him.

I do not want to be gentle so I roughly eat him up, nib the foreskin and suck forcefully. I bob my head fast and the sound of my sucking probably penetrates the walls too. God, you are feisty, he huffs while trying to keep his composure although his legs are giving upon him. You are better than any girl at this, he continues and for revenge I plunge my fingers sneakily up his arse without preparation. You cunt, he curses, but I merely smile saliva dripping down my chin. Naruto seems to be a bit in pain yet I keep moving my fingers, feeling him up, overpowering him. Intoxicating. I can taste the pre-cum in my mouth and he has to fight the urge to shoot his load down my throat.

His eyes are almost closed but he manages to push me away so that I am on all fours on the floor and puffing. Now I want more than your fingers, he says raggedly. He drops on his knees too and presses his head down on the cold floor. Do it, he orders and I gladly obey for a reason. We are doing it on the floor, which means a bit more pain. Good. I press his back and arse down in order to meet his hole. His knees slide on the floor screeching and I know it breaks the skin. He curses again, but I press him harder and initially begin to enter him.

Fucking retard, a condom, he remarks angrily and it pisses me off even more. You said now, I merely reply. You fucking former junkie hippie, you know the rules, he continues. Oh fuck you, I push him. I take a deep breath and stand up hastily. I have smoked pod sometimes but that does not make me a junkie, you wanker, I am totally cleaner than you, I basically roar. Do not get so upset, he says while sitting almost calmly on the floor and ruffling his hair. For the love of God, there cannot be a bigger whore than you and you complain that I could have diseases??? I shout angrily. Well, why the fuck would you be so eager to do me without protection then, he asks back like a little kid.

**Thoughts? Comments?**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there, I have finally something to offer to you! What inspired me were the reality and the fact that there are many types of happy endings. You fight, you laugh, you lose and you gain happiness. I wanted to focus on the feelings, how everything goes wrong before it can go right and then the "right" is not necessarily a princess and half of the kingdom. This story is a road and I want you to travel it with Sasuke and Naruto.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Sasuke x Naruto / Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Of course I do not tell him that I find sex personal and with him it is always personal, in a way…or something. I want to feel Naruto completely, since this is not just a one night stand - we have been doing this for God knows how long and we are still like strangers in bed. I am not saying I am in love, dear God, I hope this will never be love, since I am not strong enough to carry it. I merely want to be more important than some random person who comes and goes so fast that it is hard to keep track of those little things like names and such...

He does not know, but I do not like to sleep around. It is far more satisfying finding someone who shares something with you and that someone gives a whole new purpose for everything be it sex or something else. I know I am not made to be a fuck buddy, but things just took that turn without asking me first. Then in the end, I was fucking with my best friend, since according to him, it was better than to wank alone to shady porn movies. It would have been easier to stay as "normal" friends, although this should not complicate things according to Naruto - again. I cannot help but feel attachment and it pisses me off. Like now, he is standing before me as if I am the one acting weird.

I am out of here, I groan and gather my clothes with shaky hands. Wait, do not take it that way, he shouts back and gets up fast to stop me. Naruto's warm hand rests on my shoulder and I just want to hurt him so bad. Okay, I am sorry, I just want to be sure, you know, he tries to laugh a little. When you get a girlfriend you know why this matters, he says sheepishly. That does it. I tear myself from his grasp, shove my middle finger against his face and get out of the door. Why the fuck are you mad, he yells and runs after me in to the hallway of the apartment building.

Put some clothes on, I tell him tiredly and make him curse the world and my unfairness. Naruto asks hastily me to wait while he leaves to get some fabric around his naked form. That red minute is enough time for me to escape and do the opposite of what he asked. I walk on the dark streets while a light snow storm plays with my hair. My phone rings but I ignore it, since I already know that it is him. Damn, the sky is so beautiful with stars twinkling like a sea of diamonds. I would be so rich if it was possible to gather them all.

A text message wakes me up from my reverie and I read it unreluctantly. It is from Naruto, no shit, and it says that he still has a boner and I am a total retard blaah blaah. Yeah right, I think to myself and put my phone back to my pocket. I decide to do what I always did back when I was a kid - I lay myself on my back on the snowy ground and just watch stars. I breathe through my mouth so that the moisture in the air turns into steam. My trousers are wet already and the back of my jacket feels utterly cold, but I just keep still, devouring the dazzling night sky. Would it not be amazing to fall asleep now and never wake up? When I die I want to die under the stars; a faster route to whatever lies behind the Milky Way.

After some time I have to get up or else I will get flu. My gloves are soaked and I put my hands in my armpits to keep them warm. It does not help that much, but it is better than nothing. When I get home I strip naked right away to get away from the wet garments. I stand in my birth suite before the mirror and watch myself through it. My skin is almost hollow and pale blue; the coldness eats my bones yet still. Why is it that I am skinny without muscles, without anything that would make me stand out from everybody else? Why cannot I look more like Naruto? Tanned skin, trained body and energy that sweeps your feet from under you. Why would anyone want me?

I trace my own skin with my fingers, the bumps and nooks on my arms, stomach and chest. I am pathetic. More so now that I have realized that there is something profoundly wrong with me. I step into the warm shower and let the water rinse the coldness and awaiting death away. I keep my eyes closed while taking support from the ugly ceramic tile wall. The sex, the things we do…does not make Naruto gay. It should have not changed anything but it did. Or maybe I was that way already? Maybe I liked men even before this but only realized it through these series of questionable deeds.

Gay, I taste the word in my mouth. I shiver from the mere thought. It would mean that the reality which lives in my and Naruto's bedroom would come to life in the harsh world without windows, doors and curtains as cover. Homo, does not taste good either. I have had sex with my best friend who is male, so how would sex with other guys be any different? Theoretically speaking it would not. But then there is the fact that I know Naruto and he knows me, it is somewhat familiar and safe. Could I do it with someone else? Why do I do it with Naruto? The complicated thoughts suck me dry and with wobbly feet I step out of the shower. I fetch my towel, dry my hair first and then get my boxers on.

I get my guitar, take it on my lap and let my fingers feel their way up the neck. I hymn silently The Fray song _"__Early morning/ The city breaks/ I've been calling/ For years and years and years and years/ And you never left me no messages/ You never send me no letters/ You got some kind of nerve/ Taking all our world…Lost and insecure/ You found me, you found me/ Lying on the floor/ Where were you? Where were you?/ Lost and insecure/ You found me, you found me/ Lying on the floor/ Surrounded, surrounded…"_

A few tears roll down my cheeks as I understand the fact that if I make the choice, I have to bear the consequences. The possible consequences that my band mates would abandon me and of course Naruto…as crazy as it may sound, he might fuck a guy but still consider himself the ultimate hetero and ladies' man. It makes me laugh a little as I try to understand his logic and the equations fail every time. I put the guitar down - this is the first time in ages that playing makes me sadder than I already am.

I get off the bed and go back to the mirror. The reflection it gives has not changed nor improved. I keep thinking that I am in a square room that is spinning around so fast that the corners are getting rounder and rounder. Is the room square anymore or is it round now? What if the spinning just eats some of the corners and I am sealed in a triangular? I form a triangular with my thumbs and forefingers and eye myself through it. Is that Sasuke who is watching me back? Or is it merely a shadow of Naruto, too attached to the original so that it can never live a life on its own? Where is me?

I get myself scissors and bring them close to my face. Snip, snap, my long black hair falls down, sits on my shoulder until it meets the floor face down. My hair is unruly and rugged, but now I am much more like the person I used to be. The jet black spikes decorate my face and playfully stick to every direction possible. I remove the metal from my face, first the massive number of earrings and then the ones in my eyebrows. The only one I keep is the silver ring which pierces my bottom lip. No make-up, no nothing. I look all different now, a perfect start for a new life, a perfect opportunity to tell Naruto what I have decided. If only I had the right words to express it.

**Thoughts? Comments?**


	3. Chapter 3

Hello there, I have finally something to offer to you! What inspired me were the reality and the fact that there are many types of happy endings. You fight, you laugh, you lose and you gain happiness. I wanted to focus on the feelings, how everything goes wrong before it can go right and then the "right" is not necessarily a princess and half of the kingdom. This story is a road and I want you to travel it with Sasuke and Naruto.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Sasuke x Naruto / Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

My sleep is cut through thanks to my phone ringing annoyingly. I feel sticky and my tongue is glued to my palate. Who the fuck is calling this early…Then after glancing at the clock I notice it is past 1 pm already. Better to answer the phone then. Even more annoying voice finds its way through the 3G network. Okay, I am sorry about yesterday, Naruto says sheepishly. Anyways, let us go jamming today, just the two of us, he suggests with childish excitement. This is a make-up call, but I end up agreeing even though I am still pissed. His stupidly happy and eager way of talking, the words he chooses - all end up eating away my sour mood. God, I hate people like him…destroying one hell of a good -currently- fucked up mentality.

Holy shit, what have you done to your hair, he shouts astonished. Oh, that one I totally forgot. You look like when we first met in high school, he smiles and laughs a little. Precisely. Playing together really breaks out sweat and the supposed light jamming is actually banging the instruments with the power of an angry god. All the thoughts flee my mind and I merely sink into the moment and love it. I am so glad we are in a soundproof room, haha. My fingers hurt already, but I would not take it any other way. Play it again, Sam, as they say.

I cannot take it anymore, I cannot even move my fingers anymore, Naruto huffs. Tell me again why you simply sing and not play guitar when you have the talent, I ask him out of breath. Too much hassle, I like it this way and I can save my playing for you, he smiles devilishly until breaks into laughter. I need a beer, or maybe two, he puffs face wet from crystal-clear sweat. Yeah, I answer him and we decide to get some from the local store. We should have brought refreshments from the start, he says thoughtfully. Well, some cool air after that session is probably just good for us, I tell him and we practically drag our feet to the store.

After getting beer and other magical stuff with alcohol we head back to the practice place. Thanks to not eating or drinking anything else but what we have bought, we are sort of mushy quite fast. You are slurring, he laughs at me and I just show him the middle finger. Oh, I think I have seen that finger before, hey, look -I have got fingers too, he laughs uncontrollably. You are one fuckface, I tell him sourly and I turn on the old nostalgic radio. I need music to eat away your stupid laughter, I shout out loud while browsing the channels. Aww, he acts all hurt and lies on the sofa with a bottle of some stout.

I do not know how long we have been there, but the air is all stuffy now and both of us drunk as skunks. I want some more, he now slurs and I throw him a can. It hits the wall and explodes. What the fuck, he shouts, but I merely laugh my arse off. Nice catch, shit, it is hard to aim, I look at another can concentrated. Then I get off the floor and get him a towel while I snicker uncontrollably. You fucking dog, I sigh. I am shitfaced dizzy and then Lauri Tähkä sings on the radio that let us kiss and you are not alone anymore, again and at nights we embrace, let us kiss and you are not alone anymore, today let us not worry about tomorrow. I look at the soaked Naruto and somewhere in the back of my mind I know that I have to tell him now or never.

I take his face between my palms and press my lips gently on his. It happens slowly but fast, everything at the same time. He resists some, but then melts into it, lets me kiss and kisses back. My lips travel on his, taste the soft skin, rub against it and it feels so natural, so right. It is not so different from kissing girls, not that different at all, but for me this is far more satisfying. This is finally me, what I want to do. I am in control. Finally.

Suddenly Naruto pushes me away from himself and curses out loud. Rules, he huffs and I merely feel like a little kid playing self-invented games. Do this and do not do that or else you get punished. I am gay, I say to him without decorating the fact, but just blurting it out. What, he blurts back without really understanding the meaning of what I just said. I like guys, you know what gay means, I ask him. Of course I know what it means, he answers angrily. Since when, he continues with a stuttering voice. Probably forever, I do not know, I answer back and the air is heavy. I am not gay, he says then. I never said you were, I answer although he never asked me anything - just made an odd statement.

So, you are just insecure about the fact that you might have slept with a gay guy, I keep blurting without thinking. He does not reply. So, it would be totally normal to you to fuck with a straight dude, but suddenly when that dude turns out to be a faggot, it is disgusting, I keep on going. Naruto keeps his mouth shut. I do not get your logic, I sigh. It does not matter anymore though, since you are not my type, I keep vomiting the words although the last line is a lie. If he ever asked I would say yes in a heartbeat. Why not, he then asks after a long silence. Why not what, I ask back. Why am I not your type, what is your type then, tell me, he curses angrily.

Do you really need to boost your ego so much that you need to be the wet dream of every living person or else your life does not have a meaning, I shout at him. He looks a bit hurt but more then that, angry. Tell me you do not want me, he whispers. He takes off his shirt and keeps repeating the question I do not want to answer. He stands before me and takes my hand in his. He moves my hand over his muscular abdomen and chest, but my response is not what he is looking for. Did you ever think that I would want something more than to be your toy, I ask him sadly. Just maybe I would like a real relationship, Naruto, you just cannot keep taking and not giving anything back, my voice cracks with that last line and his grip loosens. Naruto just stands there not saying anything and we both know I am right. Then I merely walk out of the room.

Time passes by faster than it should especially when the case is like mine. Everyone has heard the story of best friends drifting apart and it is such a cliché that one cannot even comprehend the real depth of it. Everything I knew was somehow changed and gone in such a short period of time. It was not like I avoided Naruto or the other way around, but we did not have anything to share anymore. I was something he could not accept and he was something that suffocated me.

We both were better off without each other, even though it hurt and of course it did. More so, accepting a different future than one planned is always a challenge. So, basically I stabilized everything else in my life and locked the complicated thoughts out off my radar of everyday life. No one even asked questions although it was clear that something was going on when I and Naruto acted like two logs around each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello there, I have finally something to offer to you! What inspired me were the reality and the fact that there are many types of happy endings. You fight, you laugh, you lose and you gain happiness. I wanted to focus on the feelings, how everything goes wrong before it can go right and then the "right" is not necessarily a princess and half of the kingdom. This story is a road and I want you to travel it with Sasuke and Naruto.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Sasuke x Naruto / Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

On a random Sunday morning Neji phones me and tells me that we need to practice because the new drummer guy will come the next week. Yeah of course, I mumble back at him. I have got you something, he continues with a mysterious voice. What is it, I ask, but he does not reply. See you in half an hour and then he hangs up. I take my guitar bag with me and head out for our practice place. Neji is already there and smokes outside the worn and crooked door. He throws me a rock magazine and asks me to open page nineteen. I do as I am told and then it hits me right in the face. The hell, I mutter while looking at Naruto's photo and the title "the Newcomer of the Year".

I guess rock sells better, Neji remarks sarcastically the smoke escaping his nostrils and mouth like snakes after their prey. Guess so, I answer back and glance through the article. It seems Nailin'It has hit the charts and is starting a tour in order to promote the new album "You Got Me". Somehow I sense the irony in that one, but I never say anything to Neji. Want to go, Neji asks me while following my ogling. To see their gig, you mean, I ask him without looking him in the eyes. It would be great to see how they have improved and why the fuck they got the deal and we did not, he raises his voice stupidly.

I burst into laughter and tell him that no thanks - checking the album is enough. Yeah, we should not support them too much especially when your singer fucking boyfriend never told us anything, Neji grunts. We…we do not hang around that much together anymore, I mostly talk to myself. So, this is not just a grand surprise, but Naruto actually kept his mouth shut for real, sheesh, he continues absentmindedly. What a shithead, now I feel stupid for feeling anything positive towards their success, Neji sighs. You are stupid, I laugh a little, since what Neji said is not the truth. Naruto is not compelled to share anything with me anymore, but of course from Neji's point of view it is not nice to not share information between fellow bands that have played together for a long time.

Can I keep the magazine, I ask him nonchalantly. Why the hell would I need it, he grunts and stomps the rest of the cigarette. No wonder you two were acting weird, he mumbles and gets inside before me. Dumbarse Neji, did he just now notice that? After playing sometime I sigh deeply and complain that Neji is not putting his whole heart into the music. I cannot concentrate, I need to get laid, he groans like a bear in heat. Need we not all, I reply angrily and basically kick him. I am tired myself too and the practise must sound like someone is killing a cat with a metal pole. We should head home, you know, I yawn and Neji agrees with me wholeheartedly.

Are you sure about the gig, it is today, Neji tries one more time. I am positively sure, I smile stiffly and he leaves it at that. So, it would not hurt anyone if I walk by the gig place, right? It is not like I am going to see the gig, more like checking the place. Although, I am intrigued to get inside the old warehouse which is used as a concert place these days. I go to a near dirty dining place to get a café as I wait something I do not even know myself. I see some girls dressed in weird rock costumes and I know they are on their way to the Nailin'It gig.

I get outside and light a cigarette. I bet he is a beast in bed, some girls giggle and I wonder who they mean until I hear the name Naruto and I almost choke on the little white stick between my lips. I did not see that one coming, shit, those girls are like fourteen or something…I follow them slowly and lazily so I would not hear what more are they talking about, but of course they have to preach with loud voices. It is ironic that I know the facts the girls are so eagerly exchanging except that I did not read them but experienced them in real life.

What the hell, he has a tattoo now? Well, seems I do not know everything, huh? I get to the gig place and shit the place is crowded. What did I even expect…I inhale the last of the smoke and take my leave. Near the back door I happen to bump into the band and their screeching fans. Oh God, how do I get out of here incognito??? I try to escape but of course Kiba notices me and whistles. I raise my hand in turn and I am quite sure the girls want to chew it off. Then even Naruto raises his gaze from the autograph papers and our eyes meet accidentally - or it would have been an accident if I had not been staring so intensively. He looks a little lost, but finally nods.

The whole situation is weird and a sad smile passes my lips as I turn around after nodding back. Friends, sex and now nodding, great. I take my phone and text to Neji that I take his offer. He merely replies that he already knew and besides he had the tickets anyway. I leave my guitar in the safe keeping and wait until Neji gets there. What changed your mind, Neji asks casually while taking off his jacket. I want to see him, I answer Neji. In order to put an end to this, I continue without telling him what I mean with my sentence.

You think that killing love will cure you, he asks me his voice a little hollow but still concerned. You catch up fast, I smile, but it is not totally genuine from my part. I knew from the beginning, Neji continues after a long pause. The way you talked with each other, stupid girly stuff, he grunts. Was he even a good fuck, Neji grins suddenly and the uneasiness leaves my body fluttering. Yeah, totally, I laugh and I know we are okay. Shit, there are lots of people here, Neji shouts, since the noise is unbelievable. Quite different from our days, he continues, but it is already hard to hear his words over the giggling and other babbling. We stay next to the mixing table and soon the first low notes cut the air like a sharp knife. The atmosphere electrifies itself and sucks the crowd in. It is crazy, but it works.

Even I am swayed and all the more when the band gets on the stage. I think I am jealous, Neji inhales next to me and I know what he means. Nailin'It has improved a lot; even their image is more defined. Then Naruto walks on to the stage and the place almost explodes because of the bottled up emotions. Holy fuck, I hear Neji grunt and I could not agree more. Before when I met Naruto had a hat on and only now I realize that he has cut his long hair. He has a Mohawk now, tight light blue jeans and pure white shirt. He looks stunning.

Then I see it when he turns around - the tattoo on the nape of his neck. It says "sorry" with curly letters. The place where I kissed him the most, where I sealed my love without him knowing…or did he? My legs feel wobbly and I so need fresh air, I think I am imagining things. I practically run outside and try to calm my nerves; this is really not helping me to forget everything. Shit. I do not know how long I have sat on the concrete stopper, but soon people are pouring out of the hall. I really should get going…Hey, where the hell did you disappear, Neji shouts suddenly. I was just, you know, I try to explain, but it sounds so vain that I end up shutting my mouth.

**Thoughts? Comments?**


	5. Chapter 5

Hello there, I have finally something to offer to you! What inspired me were the reality and the fact that there are many types of happy endings. You fight, you laugh, you lose and you gain happiness. I wanted to focus on the feelings, how everything goes wrong before it can go right and then the "right" is not necessarily a princess and half of the kingdom. This story is a road and I want you to travel it with Sasuke and Naruto.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Sasuke x Naruto / Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: Friends forever is an equation that fails when sex enters the picture. It kills you to know that love does not drive this life forward and what you want is not the same thing he wants. Maybe everything will be okay, if one just tries enough? SasuNaru.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Then the band gets outside too in order to sign photos, cards and all that jazz. This is so going down the drain, you know, I sigh to Neji, who merely watches all the commotion curiously. Go and get an autograph, Neji snickers maliciously and I punch him in the arm. Sasuke, I hear someone call my name. I raise my gaze and try to scan the crowd. Wait, the voice continues. No way in hell, my mind shouts as I notice it is Naruto yelling. Naruto breaks through the sea of girls and guys in order to, oh God, I do not even know what he is doing. Why now of all the times he could have stopped me and called my name, why now?

Instinctively I start to back down and find a hole where to hide. It is pathetic enough I came to see them. It is pathetic enough I even care anymore. I said stop, you motherfucker, Naruto raises his voice and if there are any parents around they have probably covered their ears and curse the youth their children listen to. I fucking need to talk to you, he keeps shouting and I merely shout back that there is nothing to talk about anymore. We must look stupid; one after the other and the other running away. Thanks to the massive number of people blocking the way, Naruto soon catches me.

The backstage, he breathes and drags my reluctant body behind him. Not so long after we are among the Marshalls and other speakers, wires and some random shit. Sorry, he says and rubs his temples. That seems to be tattooed on you, I mumble. Ha, yeah, something like that, he looks a little ashamed and scratches the nape of his neck. So…? I try to move the conversation, but it is not going anywhere. It takes him a little while to whisper and ask me how he can fix this void which is eating him and probably me too.

I step closer to him and move my face really close to his. I take his face gently between my palms and brush his cheeks. Naruto backs down and I know that is not going anywhere EVER. You are afraid of kissing…you are afraid of me, might be hard to fix that, my voice sounds hollow. No, I did not mean, aah shit, he looks desperate. That girl outside is your girlfriend, right, I ask him suddenly so calmly. No…well, kind of, but no, yes…he keeps repeating words that do not make sense and at the same time hide the truth which we both know is right here and right now.

Well, I think I proved my point here, so, I tell him and start walking towards the ugly sprayed door. Fucking, fucking shit, Naruto curses and halts me violently. He makes me turn around so harshly that I almost trip and smacks his lips against mine. The kiss - if it can be called that - is an aggressive, wet and hard smack. You almost fucking broke my teeth, I swear at him and he just looks bewildered. Well, shit, sorry, I cannot kiss like other faggots, he raises his voice and we are fighting again. What did you want to prove with that, I say angrily, my lips still hurting. It tastes like blood, I mumble and Naruto merely fumes.

My point was that, that, well, I try, you fuckface, he growls. I am not a homo, but I try, okay, he asks. Why would I want you to be a homo, I ask dumbfounded. Well, you are and it seems that it is needed in order to be with you and fuck, there is something profoundly wrong with me when I think of you when I have sex with girls, he breathes rapidly. Yeah, there is totally something wrong with you, but I do not think it is just that, I mumble back. You said that I cannot keep taking but I have to give something back too and now that I try to do it, you just laugh against my face, he pouts. I am not laughing, I tell him but he still looks hurt.

I cannot promise you sweet and crushing love, because I am not some chick and I just do not feel that airheaded, but I promise to try to hold your hand occasionally and other stupid girly stuff if you want, he huffs. I am gay, not retarded, I smile at him and Naruto looks more relaxed. You still have a girlfriend, you do know that, I remind him but he tells me that not for the past hour, since he had told her the shortened version. The shortened version being that he had wanted to break up, since he did not love her. Like hell I was going to tell her that I want to bang you, sheesh, he puffs. You do, I ask him teasingly. Something like that, he says quietly.

Prove me that chick thing you promised, I smile stupidly, but I know he sees the challenge in my eyes. Fuck you, he says but takes my hand in his. You know your fans are outside, I try to remind him, but he looks only determined. Yeah, yeah, Naruto says hastily and drags me towards the door. This is not so good idea, you know, I try to convince him. I was not asking you, he answers and drags me steadily closer and closer to the door. It is your life, and I let him lead me freely. Ours, he says and opens the door. Flashes fill the night as probably everyone who has a camera waits outside the backstage. Great. Naruto never lets my hand go.

Like a god among mere mortals he guides me to the car and just as gorgeously we drive into the night. Never knew you had a car, I ask him although I know it is the stupidest notion one could make in this situation. There is a lot you do not know about me, but I am sure you will get the hang of it sooner or later, he smiles at me. My place or yours, he asks me suddenly and it surprises me. You are quite fast, I mumble a little offended. I am just dead tired and I want a human pillow, nothing more - you know, this is the new beginning, he laughs out loud. I punch him in the arm, my place, I reply shyly.

After ten minutes of perfect silence Naruto suddenly declares that he loves me. No, you do not, I reply somewhat disappointed but perfectly aware that he is joking around even though he sounds so serious. Maybe not fully, but I am practicing for the moment when it happens, he says voice full of gentleness and laughter. Because I know that will happen, so do not go anywhere and wait for me, he whispers. Naruto's words warm me inside and I feel happy. Happy as in something changing inside of me and reconstructing me into a shape of heart, a heart shaped box, like in the Nirvana song. Cheesy, I know.

I smile to myself as the glowing orange street lights pass by. What better way to fall asleep than hear the one who is the most important person to you whistle soft tunes filling the car with something akin to love? Yeah, there is totally love in the air…the fucking car is stuffed with it. The best place to be, right next to you and the gearstick. I kind of wait what you have in storage for me tomorrow and the day after and…but we will get there, you know? Wherever our destination may be.

_The End_

**Thoughts? Comments?**


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